Where Failing as a Parent is Expected
Ever feel like you are the only one out there failing as a parent? Too many times we see the happy pictures on social media and assume there is something only we are doing wrong. Not often enough do we express our failures as a parent in a positive light and use them to grow to become even better. No one out there is perfect. We are imperfect beings created to fail. Through that failure we are meant to find our way in life to become a better dad. Not a perfect parent; but an imperfect one. Welcome to learning how to “Embrace the imperfection”.
My Name is Dr Jeremy Toffle, board certified pediatrician, husband, father of two boys, and self proclaimed imperfect dad. Many of us in the physician world feel like we are only able to succeed in certain aspects of our life, be it our career or home life, but never are we able to succeed at all of them.
I am here to tell you that you CAN succeed in every aspect of your life. It takes practice. It takes work. But you CAN do it! I have taken care of thousands of patients and families in my practice over the years, and the common theme is this: our children are born as a blank canvas. Over time we fill that canvas with our own brush strokes, and the overall image of our child becomes known as more of these impressions are added.
As a father figure, I see our role as dad as encompassing 6 B’s to make us not only a better parent but a better person overall: Our Brain, Body, Beliefs, Better-half, Business & Bucks. I know the alliteration can be a little offsetting, but I hope you will bear with me to understand why I feel so strongly about these key aspects in your life.
You may also be thinking, “Hey, there is no parenting topic in that list of B’s! What gives?” As I said above, our children are a blank canvas who only grow as we, their parents, apply the brush strokes. One portion of your child’s development is done through purposeful teaching, meaning you directly set out to teach your child a skill or lesson.
The other part of teaching is indirect teaching. This is made up of how our every day actions affect how our children perceive us as their parent and the world around them. The way we display reactions to situations, eating habits, exercise routines, sleep, faith, interactions with our significant others, money habits and discussions about our work all influence how our child learns and develops over time.
THIS is why I feel these 6 B’s are the most important aspects for a physician dad to work on. It isn’t a parenting class. It is a course about our LIVES and how we teach our kids to enjoy every aspect of it.
On this website you will find two things: my blog and my podcast. The blog was started in May 2020 in the midst of the COVID pandemic. I began to question my own successes as a dad and wondered where I was going wrong. The blog followed me on my path of understanding my own sense of fatherhood as well as popular conversations about the COVID pandemic, parenting topics, and my own hobby involving wood working. The blog will remain as glimpse into my current mindset and my overall progress as a dad.
The podcast is different. It was created initially to help spread the message about helping other dads out there and improve their sense of self through embracing their failures and rediscovering what the definition of “dad” is in the 21st century. As I talked to and interviewed dads (especially physician dads), I was quick to notice a common pattern. Many of us were succeeding at some parts of our lives, where other parts were being pushed away or sometimes forgotten. It also felt like there was no where to turn to to get the answers needed to improve our overall sense of being a physician parent.
That was when I decided to make this podcast a part of the solution. Although I will continue to interview different dads and learn about their background and understanding of what a dad is, I also plan to bring experts onto the show to further discuss the 6 B’s and how to improve them in our own lives.
I ask that if you are a physician dad or know one, please be sure to give the podcast a listen, leave a review to let me know what you think, and share it with other physician dads you feel may need to hear this message.
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